File under: Calm. Quiet. Planning without action.
There's not much to share outside myself right now. I have so much to do, but in the absence of deadlines, fail to accomplish much of anything. The only real deadline right now feels like "Get everything done/ready/orderly before Bumble enters the world", but even that feels like hurryhurryhurry, now wait. I'm making lists, making plans, wondering how things will be different, how they will be the same, wondering how much control I will have over life. I'm enjoying these lazy days as if they were the last of their kind...an unspecified and decadent selfishness. At the same time, in the distance I can hear the walls starting to close in around me. Clutter is taking over my mind and my space, and if I don't reign it in, restore Order soon, the calm will be broken.
I've got to get to work, but I'm finding Focus to be an elusive partner.
Posted by rightmoon at August 23, 2005 02:29 AM